Greetings, thank you for this informative article. I can relate to what you are saying. I'm in the on-going process of writing my life experiences since childhood. It's titled "Manically speaking"....I've completed the first part working on the second installment.
It will be revealing what took place in my family of sexual, physical, emotional abuses, it's influence in my life choices.
Talk about Walls of protection, I hear you loud and clear, at times it's been terrifying to allow the "sealed vault" of protection to be opened.
However I am by the Grace of God, step by step becoming what He desires me to be.
I just joined Substack on the 27th of January, and find it very interesting, and engaging.
I do hope my sharing my experiences will help someone to understand, if they have suffered similar situations, to see why they may have certain difficulties in understanding why they may suffer certain emotional, personality dysfunctions, and possibly PTSD, or AHDH, side affects.
Cal, this is something I definitely look forward to reading. I have a very similar background abuse, and addiction, and everything that goes along with it. Been working through it for a long time now and doing really well, but every now and then something can get triggered, but as we learn and grow with it, I think perception of it and the way we react becomes so much healthier, and it doesn't last as long.
Thank you for your kind and encouraging words. Actually the First part of my "Manically speaking" is already on my "Substack" platform. Here is the link:
I hope you had a delicious lunch. I've had nothing as of yet, had to do some groceries outside, on this lovely cold winter, with more snow on it's way this weekend!
I am single, no wife, no children, so Vatentine's day holds no meaning for me.
I am now following you, and will check out your "Substack" platform.
Please feel free to leave comments after your reading.
Have a wonderful Valentine's Day and weekend.
Also I just joined "Substack" on Jan 27th, of this year. And I am finding it quite satisfying......
I'm just about to sit down and read your article now. I'm in the same spot you are as far as what you said above, but Valentine's Day can still be fun.
I can tell you that you made a great decision coming here. I had never really been on social media platforms before because there's just so much division and a lot of immaturity and then one day back in July of last year. I was watching a YouTube video with someone that was on Substack and that's what intrigued me. I hadn't been writing anything before anything like that and then I came over and I've started riding and I've been all these wonderful people and it's giving me something to look forward to because as I had stated my life has changed so much since 2021 and my mom's health state.
I think you're gonna really love it here and you'll make a lot of connections and there's some other publications. I wish I could think of them off the top of my head that are similar to yours and it would be good probably for you guys to collaborate with each other or recommend each other or do lives together.
I think quite a few on overcoming addiction and things like that - men and women. very supportive groups.
Well, I'm gonna read your article. I wanted to be able to sit down and really read it and not just glance over it.
Well I've been on Facebook, but stopped that a few years back, couldn't take the shallowness of it all. Especially during the periods of "censorship". One good thing about it was I got to "really know" who people were.
I've been on Twitter, and stopped for a while, now that Musk has taken over, I find far more freedom to speak what is on one's mind. I also have a Blog I write on Wordpress, which I've been doing for many years off and on.
However those do not compare with "Substack".....I'm finding it far more informative, and and more conducive to my personality.
My Wordpress Blog is all for "Believer's"
However I feel my story regarding my life history, is going to lead to something unexpected. Yet sharing my understanding for other Believer's in the Lord to understand what He represents, that will not be for everyone, except for those who need some understanding. Especially my experience with a "cult" some 47 years past!
Anyway, thank you for sharing, I've now subscribing to your "Substack"
And why "threatening people" can feel safe sometimes. Those who have hurt me the most deeply are the ones whose efforts to get back into my heart often feel false. As if acting safe is the way back when I don't trust their motives. My own desire to move past the hurt and accept them wholeheartedly sometimes reminds me of a child reaching out to take candy from a stranger. "Careful!" I say to myself...BUT, Blake...this is such a good word for me today. Closing my heart does little to protect me, and I see the wisdom in what you're saying. Thank you. (and Happy Valentine's Day!)
Ooooo Donna, that is a good point! I'm very glad you brought it up. "My own desire to move past the hurt and accept them wholeheartedly sometimes reminds me of a child reaching out to take candy from a stranger" oof. Such a powerful line.
I too have a childhood history of emotional and sexual abuse. I have been working on it for 30 years and still struggle with the openness and vulnerability. For me it also has to do with trying to protect my heart from the grief when the relationship has to end for whatever reason. I am now trying to love myself and let God love me more so I am not so devastated by a loss it makes me shut down completely. My losses have shut me down for years where I don’t allow myself to feel most anything. I am a dissociative and that allows me to stay functional in the world until I experience another loss which triggers everything. I would like to write about my journey sometimes but it feels overwhelming. Thank you for this article and the comments I have read so far.
Thanks for sharing Kathryn and being vulnerable here! Maybe writing about it just for yourself could be therapeutic, and then sharing it whenever your system feels ready to. Be patient with your journey!
Blake, the CNS or central nervous system, which includes the parasympathetic and sympathetic responses are innate reactions that we have just like you stated in the article. But there comes a time when those that we can trust don't trigger that response.
And healing definitely happens in layers. Once you think you've got something resolved. next thing you know there's another layer to it. and it's really for our protection. The layers have to be peeled back because tou can't just cut the onion straight in half. It's too much on the human psyche. I'm not saying people can't be healed immediately because I've seen it and they can, but that's not usually how it works.
Thank you for the article. It was great. I enjoyed it.
This is so true and such a complex topic! My therapist and I discuss it often. I struggle with being almost avoidant toward most types of connection and never knew where it stemmed from until I started to understand trauma and shame in relation to events of my childhood. I feel for anyone who relates to this topic. it’s a very isolating and often alien feeling way to navigate the world when so many others just seem to be at ease with connection.
Blake, your words hit home in a way that's both comforting and unsettling. That push-pull dance with connection – wanting it so badly but feeling the urge to retreat – is something I know all too well. It's like my heart and my head are playing a never-ending game of tug-of-war. Reading your post made me feel less alone in this struggle. It's a weird mix of relief and frustration, you know? Like, 'Oh good, I'm not the only one,' but also, 'Ugh, why is this so hard?'
Greetings, thank you for this informative article. I can relate to what you are saying. I'm in the on-going process of writing my life experiences since childhood. It's titled "Manically speaking"....I've completed the first part working on the second installment.
It will be revealing what took place in my family of sexual, physical, emotional abuses, it's influence in my life choices.
Talk about Walls of protection, I hear you loud and clear, at times it's been terrifying to allow the "sealed vault" of protection to be opened.
However I am by the Grace of God, step by step becoming what He desires me to be.
Have a great weekend!
Geeeez Cal! That sounds like such an important, heavy, and beautiful project that I imagine is a gift to you and will be to others.
Greetings,
Happy to have a connecting conversation with you.
I just joined Substack on the 27th of January, and find it very interesting, and engaging.
I do hope my sharing my experiences will help someone to understand, if they have suffered similar situations, to see why they may have certain difficulties in understanding why they may suffer certain emotional, personality dysfunctions, and possibly PTSD, or AHDH, side affects.
Have a great weekend!
Cal, this is something I definitely look forward to reading. I have a very similar background abuse, and addiction, and everything that goes along with it. Been working through it for a long time now and doing really well, but every now and then something can get triggered, but as we learn and grow with it, I think perception of it and the way we react becomes so much healthier, and it doesn't last as long.
Thank you for your kind and encouraging words. Actually the First part of my "Manically speaking" is already on my "Substack" platform. Here is the link:
https://substack.com/home/post/p-155842937
I will be submitting my second part 2 either today or this weekend.
oh thank you for the link. I'm definitely gonna check it out after I get a bite to eat. Happy Valentine's Day to you and yours 🤗
Dear Kathleen,
I hope you had a delicious lunch. I've had nothing as of yet, had to do some groceries outside, on this lovely cold winter, with more snow on it's way this weekend!
I am single, no wife, no children, so Vatentine's day holds no meaning for me.
I am now following you, and will check out your "Substack" platform.
Please feel free to leave comments after your reading.
Have a wonderful Valentine's Day and weekend.
Also I just joined "Substack" on Jan 27th, of this year. And I am finding it quite satisfying......
I'm just about to sit down and read your article now. I'm in the same spot you are as far as what you said above, but Valentine's Day can still be fun.
I can tell you that you made a great decision coming here. I had never really been on social media platforms before because there's just so much division and a lot of immaturity and then one day back in July of last year. I was watching a YouTube video with someone that was on Substack and that's what intrigued me. I hadn't been writing anything before anything like that and then I came over and I've started riding and I've been all these wonderful people and it's giving me something to look forward to because as I had stated my life has changed so much since 2021 and my mom's health state.
I think you're gonna really love it here and you'll make a lot of connections and there's some other publications. I wish I could think of them off the top of my head that are similar to yours and it would be good probably for you guys to collaborate with each other or recommend each other or do lives together.
I think quite a few on overcoming addiction and things like that - men and women. very supportive groups.
Well, I'm gonna read your article. I wanted to be able to sit down and really read it and not just glance over it.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Greetings.
Well I've been on Facebook, but stopped that a few years back, couldn't take the shallowness of it all. Especially during the periods of "censorship". One good thing about it was I got to "really know" who people were.
I've been on Twitter, and stopped for a while, now that Musk has taken over, I find far more freedom to speak what is on one's mind. I also have a Blog I write on Wordpress, which I've been doing for many years off and on.
However those do not compare with "Substack".....I'm finding it far more informative, and and more conducive to my personality.
My Wordpress Blog is all for "Believer's"
However I feel my story regarding my life history, is going to lead to something unexpected. Yet sharing my understanding for other Believer's in the Lord to understand what He represents, that will not be for everyone, except for those who need some understanding. Especially my experience with a "cult" some 47 years past!
Anyway, thank you for sharing, I've now subscribing to your "Substack"
All the best for a great weekend!
And why "threatening people" can feel safe sometimes. Those who have hurt me the most deeply are the ones whose efforts to get back into my heart often feel false. As if acting safe is the way back when I don't trust their motives. My own desire to move past the hurt and accept them wholeheartedly sometimes reminds me of a child reaching out to take candy from a stranger. "Careful!" I say to myself...BUT, Blake...this is such a good word for me today. Closing my heart does little to protect me, and I see the wisdom in what you're saying. Thank you. (and Happy Valentine's Day!)
Ooooo Donna, that is a good point! I'm very glad you brought it up. "My own desire to move past the hurt and accept them wholeheartedly sometimes reminds me of a child reaching out to take candy from a stranger" oof. Such a powerful line.
Needed this today!
🙏🙏
By the time you figure out life it is near the end. It has been a good journey though and I am in a good era of my life.
Thanks for sharing Tom!
I too have a childhood history of emotional and sexual abuse. I have been working on it for 30 years and still struggle with the openness and vulnerability. For me it also has to do with trying to protect my heart from the grief when the relationship has to end for whatever reason. I am now trying to love myself and let God love me more so I am not so devastated by a loss it makes me shut down completely. My losses have shut me down for years where I don’t allow myself to feel most anything. I am a dissociative and that allows me to stay functional in the world until I experience another loss which triggers everything. I would like to write about my journey sometimes but it feels overwhelming. Thank you for this article and the comments I have read so far.
Thanks for sharing Kathryn and being vulnerable here! Maybe writing about it just for yourself could be therapeutic, and then sharing it whenever your system feels ready to. Be patient with your journey!
Blake, the CNS or central nervous system, which includes the parasympathetic and sympathetic responses are innate reactions that we have just like you stated in the article. But there comes a time when those that we can trust don't trigger that response.
And healing definitely happens in layers. Once you think you've got something resolved. next thing you know there's another layer to it. and it's really for our protection. The layers have to be peeled back because tou can't just cut the onion straight in half. It's too much on the human psyche. I'm not saying people can't be healed immediately because I've seen it and they can, but that's not usually how it works.
Thank you for the article. It was great. I enjoyed it.
Oh yea I'm very familiar with the CNS and could geek out about that with you. It's such important info, thank you for adding to the convo here!
absolutely Blake anytime sir 🙏
This is so true and such a complex topic! My therapist and I discuss it often. I struggle with being almost avoidant toward most types of connection and never knew where it stemmed from until I started to understand trauma and shame in relation to events of my childhood. I feel for anyone who relates to this topic. it’s a very isolating and often alien feeling way to navigate the world when so many others just seem to be at ease with connection.
Blake, your words hit home in a way that's both comforting and unsettling. That push-pull dance with connection – wanting it so badly but feeling the urge to retreat – is something I know all too well. It's like my heart and my head are playing a never-ending game of tug-of-war. Reading your post made me feel less alone in this struggle. It's a weird mix of relief and frustration, you know? Like, 'Oh good, I'm not the only one,' but also, 'Ugh, why is this so hard?'
Very good read thank you for offering this. I will pass it on.