23 Comments
User's avatar
Tom T2.0's avatar

I remember when I was told "real men do not cry" It was a great change when I realized, "real men can cry".

I like the video production presentation

Expand full comment
Blake Roberts, LMFT's avatar

I’m sad that you, and so many men, heard that message. And grateful you heard the more accurate one!

Expand full comment
Eva M's avatar

I loved reading part one, but I also loved listening to your part two now 🙏🏼 videos on Substack are helpful to mix things up a bit, or grab a cup of tea or a cigar while listening 😄

Expand full comment
Blake Roberts, LMFT's avatar

Yes, that’s the goal! Thanks for the feedback.

Expand full comment
Tanner Olson's avatar

I love it. More of this.

Expand full comment
Blake Roberts, LMFT's avatar

🫡 I got you

Expand full comment
David Regehr 🇨🇦's avatar

Two critical lessons I learned a few decades ago are "taking a step of vulnerability", that is risking opening up, and "face your fears", that by moving through one's Wall of fear, courage is built making facing fear easier and easier.

Both appear risky but remember that with little risk there is little reward.

Thanks Blake. I am a new subscriber and am here for the duration.

Expand full comment
James wilson's avatar

I love you teaching

Expand full comment
Audrey Vu's avatar

Thank you for sharing, Blake. What you said really resonates—so many men struggle with this, and the way you explain the connection between emotional distance and avoidance is spot on. I wish my ex had realized he wasn’t alone, that his past and his pain didn’t have to keep him from opening up, even if it wasn’t with me. In the end, that fear of vulnerability cost us our relationship. He couldn’t show up for himself, let alone for me.

This is something I care deeply about no—real, open-hearted connections and the courage to be honest with ourselves and each other. Conversations like this matter. I appreciate you creating space for them, and I hope this video helps people take a step toward deeper understanding. I know it would’ve meant a lot in my past relationship.

Expand full comment
Andy Fenske's avatar

Blake, this piece really struck a chord. The way you broke down men’s loneliness and tied it to vulnerability is so on point. I see this dynamic all the time in my work—men shutting down or overcompensating instead of opening up. And man, I gotta say, you come across so confident with that cigar on camera, but I totally get it—those damn videos are a whole different beast compared to writing or 1-1 work. Keep leading the way. 💪🔥

Expand full comment
Angus Mclellan's avatar

Have you read The boy crisis? By Warren Farrell & John Gray , it talks about these issue also . I got it when I was studying child care . I thought it was an area that I would like to go in to , however , it caused big problems in my life nearly destroyed me when I went in to what I thought was a job where I could help troubled , kids . I may write about the experience someday

Expand full comment
Darrel-Dion's avatar

Wow! Thanks Blake. I have struggled with loneliness for a great portion of my life. Most of it started when I was bullied as a child and I’ve had such a hard time connecting with people, especially other guys. This really helps a lot. After being a victim of bullying, it made it extremely difficult not to assume people would reject me so I learned to only share portions of myself thinking it would be a solution but it just brought more loneliness. I appreciate your work.

Expand full comment
Kim's avatar

Less than 2 weeks before my beautiful, intelligent, caring son took his life , he was at a friend's party and the subject of their lives and how they were all feeling came up. His answer according to his roommate was “ I'm tired of being lonely”. He was 23, almost 24. I never knew he felt lonely. He always seemed so happy. He had been living on his own except for roommates since he left home at 18.

Expand full comment
Crimson's avatar

I think its do do with being raised on porno and told we liked it. I, for one, am traumatized as fuck.

Expand full comment
Ethan Anderson's avatar

Blake. Had to watch this for the aesthetic alone. Well done. 🔥

Expand full comment
Cheryl You's avatar

This is great, looking forward to more content! I’m studying IPNB and just got back from a week of school. I’m struck by how hard vulnerability and connection are for me, even knowing what I know.

I’m curious to hear more about what the gender-specific factors are that contribute to this might be. Curious about the cultural factors and if there are any inherent differences between men and women.

Expand full comment
Shelly Roberts's avatar

My younger brother has tried to commit suicide several times. I try so hard to help him help himself, but his addictions and bipolar disorder are so bad that no amount of support seems to improve his mental health. I think what you’re doing is great and maybe 🤞🏻 something you say/write about will resonate with him 🙏🏻

Expand full comment
Wen's avatar

Love the ‘get up’, Blake! Really dress like a therapist! Love whoever quotes my ‘vulnerability queen’, Brene! This is good stuff! Thanks for the video! I hope men are watching!

Expand full comment
Neon Daniel's avatar

Cant explain how really i fall in love with your cigar intro and didnt notice how i reach to the end of this vid...

Expand full comment