Hmm, this one resonated with me as I think of my own daughter, now 29, with a PhD biochemist, working for a biotech incubator of sorts. She’s among the smartest and strongest people I know ... but I also know that she looks in the mirror and thinks she’s not good enough. When the heck did that happen? I sometimes wish that I could step back in time and find that first gaze that was not appreciative, that first critical self-assessment, and somehow turn it aside ... but I can’t. I can only love her now.
Man, thanks Tom! I appreciate this very thoughtful reflection and I’m glad it made you reflect on your relationship with her - exactly what I hope for when I write things like this. It also makes me wonder where my daughter will be 29 years from now and that’s a wild thought. Your last sentence is profound. And I imagine even if you could turn it aside, it wouldn’t make it fully go away. That’s the tension. The grief. Thanks for sharing!
Beautiful post, how wonderful your daughter has such a heart-centred father.
I think my daughter was about 9 months (she’s almost 3 now) when she started kissing the mirror and lingering there, I remember thinking ‘self love at its finest!’
Your writing made me reflect on how long it’s been since I’ve lingered lovingly at the mirror (certainly a lot to do with being a mother) a practice I used to do when I was single for a long time, I would get very close to the mirror, whereby my focus was blurred, and I could feel what discomfort was arising in my body and stay until I’d ‘held’ myself through it. It was a powerful way to see without ‘looking’ (fixating on the physical), yet still deeply honouring the physical.
I love this Blake. I have had similar moments with my children and they always touch me deeply. They remind me of my authentic Self and give me access to such joy for my kids too. I love how much they love themselves. Thank you for this beautiful essay and for the reminders to be present with my kids.
Wow this hit deep. I think about this a lot - where and how I lost connection to self-worth and how I can reconnect with myself in a loving way (to look in the mirror without judgment but appreciation). And I also think about the subtle ways I’m (and others are) teaching my daughter to either cultivate this self-love or undermine it. We live in a time and place that’s so achievement driven, so focused on productivity and accomplishment, and I see how this has played a role in my perceptions of my value and underpins much of my perfectionist tendencies. I don’t want this for my daughter (or my son). So I’m unlearning and rewiring and taking it one day at a time. Thank you for this beautiful reflection and for holding this space. ❤️
Hmm, this one resonated with me as I think of my own daughter, now 29, with a PhD biochemist, working for a biotech incubator of sorts. She’s among the smartest and strongest people I know ... but I also know that she looks in the mirror and thinks she’s not good enough. When the heck did that happen? I sometimes wish that I could step back in time and find that first gaze that was not appreciative, that first critical self-assessment, and somehow turn it aside ... but I can’t. I can only love her now.
Man, thanks Tom! I appreciate this very thoughtful reflection and I’m glad it made you reflect on your relationship with her - exactly what I hope for when I write things like this. It also makes me wonder where my daughter will be 29 years from now and that’s a wild thought. Your last sentence is profound. And I imagine even if you could turn it aside, it wouldn’t make it fully go away. That’s the tension. The grief. Thanks for sharing!
Beautiful post, how wonderful your daughter has such a heart-centred father.
I think my daughter was about 9 months (she’s almost 3 now) when she started kissing the mirror and lingering there, I remember thinking ‘self love at its finest!’
Your writing made me reflect on how long it’s been since I’ve lingered lovingly at the mirror (certainly a lot to do with being a mother) a practice I used to do when I was single for a long time, I would get very close to the mirror, whereby my focus was blurred, and I could feel what discomfort was arising in my body and stay until I’d ‘held’ myself through it. It was a powerful way to see without ‘looking’ (fixating on the physical), yet still deeply honouring the physical.
That’s kind, thank you for saying that. I’m glad she does too, because I certainly didn’t with my father.
And I love this practice that you’re talking about. Especially lingering in the discomfort and not moving away from it. That’s so powerful.!
It’s really is, it brings a very different relationship to our literal reflection, it goes way deeper than just what we see!
I love this Blake. I have had similar moments with my children and they always touch me deeply. They remind me of my authentic Self and give me access to such joy for my kids too. I love how much they love themselves. Thank you for this beautiful essay and for the reminders to be present with my kids.
Thanks for this Ashely! I’ve even impacted by your words so I’m grateful to know mine have done the same.
Wow this hit deep. I think about this a lot - where and how I lost connection to self-worth and how I can reconnect with myself in a loving way (to look in the mirror without judgment but appreciation). And I also think about the subtle ways I’m (and others are) teaching my daughter to either cultivate this self-love or undermine it. We live in a time and place that’s so achievement driven, so focused on productivity and accomplishment, and I see how this has played a role in my perceptions of my value and underpins much of my perfectionist tendencies. I don’t want this for my daughter (or my son). So I’m unlearning and rewiring and taking it one day at a time. Thank you for this beautiful reflection and for holding this space. ❤️
Yes to all of this! Thanks for the kind words and I’m glad it stirred something in you.
Beautifully written, I felt this one in my soul 🙏
Thank you Jess!
Beautiful, thank you! We're experiencing this with our little ones right now as well 🙏
Also just subscribed to you. Seems like we have a lot in common!
Thanks Durgan! And it’s seriously the best. I hope you have these sweet moments too