Thanks for sharing part of your personal journey Blake. Our stories are powerful conduits of connection when we risk sharing them with other men. They remind us we’re not alone.
Also, the “connection” we’re sold as men centers around drinking and sports. Or at least it did for me. I’m with you on the deeper connection and also it can feel a bit isolating until we can find those folks on a similar level. Appreciate your writing on this.
Blake, this piece resonated deeply. The tension you name—the push and pull between traditional expectations and the quiet, steady strength of presence—feels like the real work of manhood today. We’re often told to perform masculinity rather than embody it with integrity, humility, and love. Your words challenge and invite us toward a deeper, more rooted way of being men in the world. Thank you for this.
Now, I assume you are a Protestant based on your posts. I am an Orthodox Christian who has lived in Ukraine throughout the war here (my wife and I wrote a couple books about our experience here so far called "Accidental Ukrainians" which is also partly on Substack under the same title). Our faith is one of the things that has grounded us throughout the entire conflict. Since you are a therapist, you might be interested in "Orthodox Psychotherapy" by Metropolitan of Nafpatkos Hierotheos. This outlines our toolkit. Within Orthodoxy, we celebrate the triumph of Christ stamping down death as a victory, we follow the disciplines of the Church to the best of our ability (fasting, prayers, vigils) and look at our faith as a way of life, not a religion. A final note is that the concept of the Church within Orthodoxy is that it is a hospital for sinners to heal their souls. Hope you take a look. God bless
Thank you for sharing your life and the struggles you had/have been facing.
This resonates with me in so many differing ways.
Having been sexually molested, physically and emotionally abused by my mother, and male friend of my parents, rejection which started as a toddler, young boy, teenaged years, and adulthood. Having such sexual drives, which I could not understand at such a very young age, I developed many differing masks, to the point of totally hating and rejecting my own male sex.
Desiring to become a girl therefore developed a fantasy life, always pretending or desiring to be someone else, somewhere else, or just not existing in any manner, sometimes preferring death to get over the bullying, the pain of loneliness, the violence, and parents who just did not care.
The Lord since taking over my life so many decades ago, which has brought deliverance and healings in area's of my life, I still wonder am I man enough?
Hi Blake - I thought you might be interested in interview I did with Ashanti Branch, who talks about masks a lot in his work with young men.
https://www.teenhealthtoday.com/p/helping-boys-express-masculinity
Thanks for sharing part of your personal journey Blake. Our stories are powerful conduits of connection when we risk sharing them with other men. They remind us we’re not alone.
Also, the “connection” we’re sold as men centers around drinking and sports. Or at least it did for me. I’m with you on the deeper connection and also it can feel a bit isolating until we can find those folks on a similar level. Appreciate your writing on this.
Blake, this piece resonated deeply. The tension you name—the push and pull between traditional expectations and the quiet, steady strength of presence—feels like the real work of manhood today. We’re often told to perform masculinity rather than embody it with integrity, humility, and love. Your words challenge and invite us toward a deeper, more rooted way of being men in the world. Thank you for this.
That was very good Blake. I am glad our paths crossed in cyber space.
Now, I assume you are a Protestant based on your posts. I am an Orthodox Christian who has lived in Ukraine throughout the war here (my wife and I wrote a couple books about our experience here so far called "Accidental Ukrainians" which is also partly on Substack under the same title). Our faith is one of the things that has grounded us throughout the entire conflict. Since you are a therapist, you might be interested in "Orthodox Psychotherapy" by Metropolitan of Nafpatkos Hierotheos. This outlines our toolkit. Within Orthodoxy, we celebrate the triumph of Christ stamping down death as a victory, we follow the disciplines of the Church to the best of our ability (fasting, prayers, vigils) and look at our faith as a way of life, not a religion. A final note is that the concept of the Church within Orthodoxy is that it is a hospital for sinners to heal their souls. Hope you take a look. God bless
Greetings Blake, hope all is well.
Thank you for sharing your life and the struggles you had/have been facing.
This resonates with me in so many differing ways.
Having been sexually molested, physically and emotionally abused by my mother, and male friend of my parents, rejection which started as a toddler, young boy, teenaged years, and adulthood. Having such sexual drives, which I could not understand at such a very young age, I developed many differing masks, to the point of totally hating and rejecting my own male sex.
Desiring to become a girl therefore developed a fantasy life, always pretending or desiring to be someone else, somewhere else, or just not existing in any manner, sometimes preferring death to get over the bullying, the pain of loneliness, the violence, and parents who just did not care.
The Lord since taking over my life so many decades ago, which has brought deliverance and healings in area's of my life, I still wonder am I man enough?
Lord bless you.