Honor Your Capacity.

On vulnerability and creating and finding what works for you.

Straight from a therapists office to your inbox, More to the Story inspires self-reflection and growth through a combination of personal essays, clinical perspective, and practical tools designed to support you on your journey toward wholeness.

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Hey there. It’s been a couple of months since I’ve written to you. It seems as though a lot has been going on recently, and my writing practice, both journaling and writing things to share here, has not been given the attention I wish it did.

Most of you, meaning 87%, have stumbled upon me from within the Substack platform, which means there are 593 people whom I don’t really know that have voluntarily decided to subscribe to receive the words I write. The other 92 of you, I had somewhat of a connection with before, so it’s a bit easier for me to accept that 14% of you would choose to follow along because we have some sort of history, be it big or small.

It is more difficult for me to accept that the rest of you, not knowing me beyond the words I write, choose to be here. And that’s not to say some of you are less important than others. To be frank, there are parts of me that are surprised that anyone wants to read what I have to say.

I want to acknowledge that this isn’t me throwing out numbers to try and impress you, nor is it me begging for compliments. I could see how this might be perceived that way. What I’m trying to do is acknowledge with you the irony and reality that external “success” or validation, in the form of likes or subscribers or comments, doesn’t change the internal narrative.

Sure, it helps and reminds us that some of the stories we make up about how others perceive us are false. But what I’m really talking about here is myself. It’s about you, and it’s not about you. Because when you say that my words are valuable, by way of subscribing to this newsletter, I come face to face with the parts of me who don’t feel like his words matter.

Or rather, I have the opportunity to come face to face with those parts. I also have the opportunity to turn the other way and ignore those parts. I’ve done that long enough to know it just creates more issues, so I turn toward them instead. I engage with them because I can’t truly accept your kindness and encouragement if I don’t also believe it myself. And I’m not sure which of those comes first. Does the acceptance come from others first or from within? I don’t know. But I do know they’re both important.

I started this newsletter because I wanted to work on my writing, and I wanted to provide something that might help you engage more deeply with your story, so that you may discover a deeper connection with yourself and with others. What I’m discovering is that I don’t know how to write shallowly, meaning I don’t know how to write in a way that doesn’t end up taking me to some deeper part of myself —maybe it’s the therapist in me.

I also have a 14-month-old so feeling tired physically and emotionally isn’t something I’m short of right now. That’s why sometimes a couple of months go by without publishing a letter. Lately, every time I’ve sat down to write, I haven’t felt the capacity to “go there.” So I’ve tried to go somewhere else and write something more practical, educational, easier to digest. It just doesn’t work. It doesn’t feel like my style of writing, at least for now and I’m working on being okay with that.

On September 12th, I shared a Note on Substack (like a tweet for the 14% of you not on the app) that got a ton of traction, which made the algorithm do its thing, bringing a lot of new faces around here in the last month.

The community of people willing to engage with their story on a deeper level is growing, and I’m so grateful. As I mention in the Note, I’m building a new company with my best friend, and we’ve been batch recording episodes for the new podcast (more on that business later!). It’s been so fun, and there’s a big learning curve because it’s our first time doing this. I can’t wait to tell you more about it.

As I wrap up this letter, I want to say thanks to each of you, the familiar and the newer faces alike, for taking this journey with me. Your presence here is not just a number to me; it's a shared adventure into the depths of our stories and a testament to the power of connection and vulnerability. Every subscriber, every read, and every message is a reminder of why I started this endeavor in the first place—to create a space where we can explore our narratives more profoundly.

As I learn the balancing act of parenting a 14-month-old, running a private practice, being a husband, building a new company, and practicing my own self-care, I love these moments of writing and connecting, even if they come sporadically. I know that most business coaches would say I’m doing it wrong, but I don’t care. I’m not jumping on board with the hustle and create constantly culture. I prefer to honor my own capacity.

Know that your engagement matters and inspires me. I’m sure having a consistent posting schedule would help me to just write, and I aspire to get there. For now, I’ll embrace the pauses between letters, reminding myself—and hopefully you—that every story and every expression has its own perfect time.

Thank you for being here. Keep exploring, stay curious, and keep connecting.

With care,

Blake