🙏❤️ - thank you Blake for your kind and wise words and for your loving energy on this topic. This is my spin on one of your thoughts that resonated deeply with me - there is a little boy in me who still wants a pure relationship and believes people can change. That little boy lives alongside the adult who understands the complexity of this topic, is aware of and acknowledges the little boy and little girl that live alongside his adult parents, accepts the necessity of boundaries and self protection, and embraces self preservation and care.
I have been more or less told to let go by family and friends; that my story isn’t valid, or dismissing my story.
I would love to hear more from you on your thoughts on how to engage with siblings on this topic. I have three and none share my story. One likely would consider the relationship pure. Birth order, gender, personality etc all seem to play into how siblings hold different perceptions of their parents and their upbringings.
Thank you so much for sharing, as a therapist I hear about this tension from clients often. I especially appreciated your words on the increase in our own ability to make space for others emotions as we heal and become more comfortable with how we experience uncomfortable emotions. That has been a huge growth area for me over the years.
I am trying to navigate estrangement from both my parents. It is fairly recent, and the pain is still very fresh.
I lost one parent to a "no contact" order and a criminal case. I lost the other parent to her unwillingness to admit her own behavior, or to see the truth.
And they are both more than the pain they have caused, and the wrong they have done. I really, truly believe that. And I want those pieces of them back. But that would come at the price of safety, and the compromise of truth. Both prices are too high to justify paying.
Your article touches on some very important points, and your approach is one of the best that I have seen.
Blake, thank you for your kindness and empathy in addressing such a tender topic. God bless you!
It may be time to take you up on the suggestion at the end of your article to walk and pray right now. Ooof...(INSERT BIG SIGH HERE)...the pain is real.
Great suggestions, Blake. The questions to ask oneself when considering estrangement are really helpful, and for people already navigating estrangement, I love the points you make about boundaries and the modelling of healthy boundaries to your kids.
Blake, all I can say for now is thank you. I’ll be processing this for a bit. 🥹
🙏 Thanks for saying that. Hope it meets you where you are.
🙏❤️ - thank you Blake for your kind and wise words and for your loving energy on this topic. This is my spin on one of your thoughts that resonated deeply with me - there is a little boy in me who still wants a pure relationship and believes people can change. That little boy lives alongside the adult who understands the complexity of this topic, is aware of and acknowledges the little boy and little girl that live alongside his adult parents, accepts the necessity of boundaries and self protection, and embraces self preservation and care.
I have been more or less told to let go by family and friends; that my story isn’t valid, or dismissing my story.
I would love to hear more from you on your thoughts on how to engage with siblings on this topic. I have three and none share my story. One likely would consider the relationship pure. Birth order, gender, personality etc all seem to play into how siblings hold different perceptions of their parents and their upbringings.
Thank you so much for sharing, as a therapist I hear about this tension from clients often. I especially appreciated your words on the increase in our own ability to make space for others emotions as we heal and become more comfortable with how we experience uncomfortable emotions. That has been a huge growth area for me over the years.
Thank you, Blake! I keep her at a distance. We still go out for lunch and holidays, we just don’t talk everyday like when I was a young mom any more…
Thank you so much for writing this!
I am trying to navigate estrangement from both my parents. It is fairly recent, and the pain is still very fresh.
I lost one parent to a "no contact" order and a criminal case. I lost the other parent to her unwillingness to admit her own behavior, or to see the truth.
And they are both more than the pain they have caused, and the wrong they have done. I really, truly believe that. And I want those pieces of them back. But that would come at the price of safety, and the compromise of truth. Both prices are too high to justify paying.
Your article touches on some very important points, and your approach is one of the best that I have seen.
Blake, thank you for your kindness and empathy in addressing such a tender topic. God bless you!
It may be time to take you up on the suggestion at the end of your article to walk and pray right now. Ooof...(INSERT BIG SIGH HERE)...the pain is real.
Great suggestions, Blake. The questions to ask oneself when considering estrangement are really helpful, and for people already navigating estrangement, I love the points you make about boundaries and the modelling of healthy boundaries to your kids.